Tag Archives: battletoads

A Lot Of Terrible Video Game Characters Wear Sunglasses

For today’s video, I tried to think of as many sunglasses-wearing video game characters as I could. Immediately Cool Spot, Rash from Battletoads, and Duke Nukem sprang to mind. It did not exactly go well from there: it turns out a lot of video game characters who wear sunglasses suck.

If you were born before the year 2000, there’s a chance you remember the 1990s. Back then, advertisers had an addiction to cool. And no cynical shortcut took one so briskly toward Cool City as sunglasses on a cartoon character.

In this video, I ruminate on the ramifications of slapping sunglasses on a fragment of a beverage logo. I beseech the viewer to imagine what would happen if an accountant had written Toy Story.

This entire video is improvised. I decided to step in front of the camera and speak extemporaneously for exactly 20twenty minutes. I happened to still be wearing my sunglasses when I entered our studio. I had forgotten to put my regular glasses on. I said, to the camera, that most comments are likely going to be about my wearing sunglasses.

This gave me the immediate idea to rank the best sunglasses-wearing video game characters throughout history. I set the bar low: I said I would list 10ten. I ended up listing more than 30.

It turns out I saw a lot of sunglasses on television as a teenager in the 1990s.

So if you want to hear me roast Cool Spot and Rash from Battletoads, you’re gonna have to click that link, Ninfriendo.

I have a lot more to say about sunglasses than could fit in one video. For example, did you know that gray lenses do not alter one’s perception of color? That’s why jet pilots wear them. Did you know that blocking blue light really does make your vision sharper? I’ve been wearing gray-tinted sunglasses at my computer for the past six months, and the benefits feel astronomical. Before that I was wearing green-tinted sunglasses, which were not nearly as effective.

I could go into a massive amount of detail on ophthalmological phenomena regarding my personal decision to wear sunglasses indoors. I could shout enough science to sell you a pair of sunglasses better than Gunnar Optiks could.

Though at the heart of this is a simple excuse: I’ve been wearing sunglasses indoors for about a year because I have been experiencing what my neurologist tells me is a chronic migraine. I’ve had one unending headache for 18 months. I wake up with it. I go to bed with it. It’s brutal. The sunglasses help a lot.

So, if you’re one of those people who sees a guy wearing sunglasses indoors and immediately thinks that guy’s probably a jerk—well, I was going to say “You might be wrong.” Though maybe having a chronic migraine alone doesn’t qualify me for not being a jerk. Oops!

When I started improvising this list video I had hoped to redeem the character of dudes who, like myself, perpetually shade their eyes. Instead, I found a pack of posers, containing dismally few role models.

As I say in this video, “I’m living proof that you don’t have to be cool to wear sunglasses indoors.” As a would-be role model for future Shade Mavens, I’m going to keep on living my proof over here.

By the way! Nothing would inspire me to make a future video in which I break down an avalanche of video-game-relevant ophthalmological phenomena more than you personally liking, commenting, and subscribing over on our YouTube channel. I promise you might love it.

There’s even a playlist of all my other videos. Wow!

And just now, immediately after I finish typing all of this, I realize I did not mention Travis Touchdown, the sunglasses-wearing main character of two video games I literally spent multiple years of my life working on.

Source: Kotaku.com

The Perfect Squad Size Is 3 People

If you were paying attention to this week’s E3 announcements and also care about co-operative games, you might have noticed something: There are a lot of three-player co-op games. Rainbow Six Quarantine, the new Escape mode for Gears 5, even Battletoads. To this I say: It’s about damn time. Three people is the perfect squad size, and I am tired of games that want me to find a fourth.

The Division 2, Anthem, every Borderlands game, Diablo 3, most online role-playing games—they all want me to round up a whole three other people in addition to myself when I squad up. Granted, they all don’t require a full four-person outfit, but the mere suggestion of a fourth means you’re always aware of the gap in your roster, suspicious that you might not be performing at the optimum level thanks to your missing party member.

I always struggle at finding a fourth person. Part of this is due to the fact that many of my friends don’t play video games—at least, they don’t play the kind of video games that I do, on a similar schedule to mine. I’m at that age where everyone is getting married and having kids; it’s only natural that gaming happens at an irregular rate for most of my peers. Besides, rounding up two other people is significantly easier than rounding up three. That’s just math.

You might say, “Joshua, this is also true of two-person squads, and much easier. Why not just roll through every game in a duo?”

“How astute!” I would say, out loud, like a college professor. And it’s true: I do like playing games with just one other pal. But to me, squadding up is about a sense of camaraderie, of being on a team, of having more than one person to high five when the job is done. Three people is the perfect number for that—all the benefits of teamwork, but low-key enough to still make things feel chill and casual, you know?

There are more practical concerns, too. The more crowded a voice channel is, the more obligated you feel to only talk when necessary and to shoot the breeze less. That is a bummer, since catching up with pals over a video game is nice. Of course, the ebb and flow of conversation very much depends on who’s present and what your relationship is with them, but I’ve found that three is generally the sweet spot.

In my usual trio, this extends to trash talk, too, since our odd number makes it easy to ensure an even and varied distribution of burns and dunks between the three of us.

Regardless of how much you talk to your comrades, a trio is just nice for solving problems—when you’ve only got two other partners, it’s easy to read a situation and tell where you’re most needed. Not to say that’s impossible with a team of four; it’s just the point where you can intuit less and have to communicate more.

I suspect this is why I don’t mind being randomly placed in a three-man squad for Destiny 2 or Apex Legends, despite primarily playing both games solo and without a mic. I can keep track of two people easily, and they can keep track of me. We don’t have to say much. If we did, though, we’d probably have a good time.

Source: Kotaku.com

The new Battletoads is going to have plenty of side-scrolling scrapping.

E3 2019It’s time for the biggest gaming show of the year. We’ve got articles, videos, podcasts and maybe even a GIF or two.  

The new Battletoads is going to have plenty of side-scrolling scrapping. Microsoft showed off its first gameplay trailer today during its E3 press conference, and it looks like developers Dlala Studios and Rare decided not to fix what wasn’t broken. Get ready to be infuriated by cartoon toads (in a mostly good way) all over again.

Source: Kotaku.com