Tag Archives: hap

Duskull Loves The Sound Of Crying Children

Every Pokemon is interesting and worth talking about. I don’t play a ton of Pokemon, but I do enjoy the universe and I love learning more about the creatures in it. So, Here’s Another Pokemon! It’s Duskull!

Duskull Details

Type: Ghost

Average Height: 2′ 07″

Average Weight: 33.1 lbs.

First Added In Generation III


Throughout history, parents have used creepy stories and monsters to scare children into being good. “Don’t steal or an evil demon will grab you when you sleep!” Stuff like that. And in the Pokemon universe, this tradition continues. But there is one big difference between the Pokemon universe and our world: Monsters are real and everywhere. And Duskull is very real and the children of the Pokemon universe should be afraid. Very afraid.

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Duskull is a small ghost Pokemon creature who is said to grab up disobedient children. Parents use this story to scare their kids and make them behave. But the stories of Duskull are based on true facts. According to Pokedex entries listed on Bulbapedia, Duskull loves the sound of crying children. I’m not exaggerating. This is the actual text from multiple Pokedex entries from multiple games. It not only loves the sound of crying children, but it will even try to make children cry using their powers.

Duskull can actually turn invisible and pass through thick walls, which is useful when you are trying to hunt down children. It is said that Duskull will even phase through walls to scare children, just to hear them cry. Duskull seems like an asshole, honestly.

If you become Duskull’s target, it will hunt you all night long. Pokedex entries make this very clear. Duskull will not stop hunting their victims until either they catch their target or the sun comes up. What will Duskull do once it catches you? I’m not sure. Nothing good, I assume. Regardless, I think a bunch of kids in the Pokemon universe are going to be on their best behavior after hearing about Duskull, the ghost who loves crying kids.

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Favorite Fan Art

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Even though Duskull is a creepy ghost that loves making kids cry, that doesn’t mean they can’t also be cute. They have a nice little pumpkin too. Awww… I guess Duskull isn’t so bad…

Random Facts

  • Duskull is usually found in floating around, alone, in the dark woods.
  • For some reason, Duskull only has one eye. Which means that isn’t their skull they are wearing.
  • It is said that if Duskull glares at a person with its creepy red-eye, it can make that person freeze in terror.

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Best Comment From Last Week

A few years ago I caught a shiny Gourgeist on Halloween night while in the emergency room wearing a pirate outfit. My friend cut her thumb and needed stitches, and I had to sit there for 5 hours. It was actually the most boring Halloween I ever experienced.

-Anotherburnerboy

Hospitals are maybe the most boring places on Earth. If you are there for medical reasons or someone you know is in a bad condition, it might not feel boring. But just sitting around a hospital for minor reasons is like hanging out in a black hole that sucks all time and fun into it. So you sound like a great friend for staying there on Halloween night. (And you were smart to bring something to play to kill the time.)

Source: Kotaku.com

Gourgeist Is A Floating Pumpkin That Sings Creepy Songs

Every Pokemon is interesting and worth talking about. I don’t play a ton of Pokemon, but I do enjoy the universe and I love learning more about the creatures in it. So, Here’s Another Pokemon! It’s Gourgeist!

Gourgeist Details

Type: Ghost/Grass

Average Height: 2′ 04″ – 5′ 07″

Average Weight: 20.9 – 86 lbs.

First Added In Generation VI


The spooky season continues with our next Pokemon, Gourgeist, who is literally a giant floating pumpkin. It’s like the mascot of Halloween. It also has a body that looks identical to a Jack-O’-Lantern. This is strange and leaves me with some questions. Did someone carve this creature at some point? Or is this natural? If it is natural, maybe this is the inspiration behind carving pumpkins in the Pokemon universe? Someone saw this thing and looked at their boring, un-carved pumpkin and went, “We should do that to our pumpkins!” And that person was named Jack. Probably.

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If this Jack fella did see Gourgeist in his town on Halloween, he was probably afraid of it honestly. These creatures will wander through cities and towns during full moons, singing eerie songs. That is spooky enough, but it gets worse. According to Pokedex entries listed on Bulbapedia, people who hear these songs are cursed. There doesn’t seem to be any info on what happens to people who are cursed, which could be a bad sign for those folks. Or it might be a really lame curse that only makes your bread go stale faster or something like that. Annoying, sure, but not something that kills you or your family.

Gourgeist will also grab prey with its arms, which are those orange bits that look like pieces of long hair attached to the top head. When it grabs its prey it will sometimes sing a happy little song while it watches its prey suffer and squirm. The Pokedex entries don’t specify if it eats humans, but considering this universe and how dark it is sometimes, I wouldn’t be shocked to hear Gourgiest is out there killing orphans or babies.

Some Gourgeist can unlock a secret ability called Insomnia. I assume this is why it is wandering the streets, late at night, while singing creepy songs. When I can’t sleep I usually watch YouTube videos about old LEGO sets or eat a big bowl of cereal. Less creepy and more sad, really.

Favorite Fan Art

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This is such a perfect fit. And the whole piece is so well done too. I want more images like this. Classic paintings with Pokemon added into them.

Random Facts

  • Gourgeist comes in four variations: Small, average, large and supersize. Different sized Gourgeist can have different abilities and bigger ones even sound different.
  • This is one of the only two Pokemon in all of the games that can learn the ability “Trick-Or-Treat.”
  • I looked around, but nobody seems to know what is inside the pumpkin part of this creature. Maybe that’s for the best…

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Best Comment From Last Week

Wait wait wait, so that essentially means that human souls are Pokémon? What the actual fuck, I’m not ok with this. It also implies that there’s no afterlife in the Pokeverse and that is an incredibly unsettling implication for a franchise made for kids.

-Stunkydunk

There is an afterlife, it just sucks. In Pokemon, when you die, you become a ghost stuck in a fucking tree stump or balloon or something like that. And then you wander around getting captured and traded until the universe ends.

Source: Kotaku.com

Phantump Is The Spirit Of A Dead Child Inside A Tree Stump

Every Pokemon is interesting and worth talking about. I don’t play a ton of Pokemon, but I do enjoy the universe and I love learning more about the creatures in it. So, Here’s Another Pokemon! It’s Phantump!

Phantump Details

Type: Ghost/Grass

Average Height: 1’04”

Average Weight: 15.4 lbs.

First Added In Generation VI


It is October, so let’s get a little spooky. I don’t think it gets much spookier than a Pokemon that is actually just the ghost of a dead child. Wait, I can make it creepier and sadder! Phantump is a ghost of a child who was also alone and got lost in the woods and then died. Get your Pokeballs ready, kids! And don’t think about the fact that the child probably died of exposure and had a family.

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Ghosts and spirits seem to be a fairly common element of the Pokemon universe. So common in fact, that it seems people just accept that spirits and ghosts are real, that there is, in fact, an afterlife and that children are collecting dead people’s spirits and having them fight bugs or whatever. This isn’t world-shattering news or anything. It’s just Tuesday. Your daughter went out, caught a few Pokemon and one of them happens to be the ghost of a kid that died last year. Anyways, time for dinner.

According to Pokedex entries found on Bulbapedia, the cries of Phantump sound like a child or sometimes eerie screams. And some folks have actually gotten lost after following the cries and going deep into the forest, where Phantump often resides. This might sound like a horror film, but don’t worry that’s not the case. Again, according to Pokedex entries, Phantump is just trying to meet some new friends. Here’s a secret, Phantump, if you want to make friends. Don’t scream in the woods. Go to a local barcade or something.

In some of the later Pokedex entries, the dead child bit is removed and instead replaced with an “unknown spirt.” This seems like some tourist board, once again, editing information to make their area less disturbing to visit. But the unknown spirit is honestly creepier. Now it could be anyone has died. Your grandma, your uncle, that weird teacher that always smelled like onions. Anyone could be a Phantump. Hell, one day YOU might be a Phantump. Doomed to float around the woods, waiting for some idiot to catch you and give you a new name. Something like Stumpy or Tree Casper. Death sounds preferable.

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Favorite Fan Art

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This month I’m going to feature some spooky Pokemon, in honor of the best holiday ever. I’m talking about Halloween. And the fan art will hopefully match the Halloween theme of this month.

Random Facts

  • The leaves on the top of its head can be picked off and brewed to create a drink that supposedly cures different ailments.
  • A Phantump is created when a lonely spirit possesses a rotting tree stump. Why does the stump have to be rotting? Take care of yourself Phantump. You deserve better than a dead tree stump.
  • According to Bulbapedia, Phantump is the only Pokemon who evolves via trading who can also be captured in the wild in the same generation it was introduced.

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Best Comment From Last Week

According to my dad, me and my brothers are Munnas.(Munni?) Yeah, we destroyed his dreams.

-cecil_banon

Stand up comedy must exist in the Pokemon universe. And these types of jokes are just commonplace. It sounds like a nightmare.

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Also, if you folks have any spooky Pokemon suggestions, this is the month to send them my way!

Source: Kotaku.com

Munna Will Eat Your Dreams And Your Nightmares

Every Pokemon is interesting and worth talking about. I don’t play a ton of Pokemon, but I do enjoy the universe and I love learning more about the creatures in it. So, Here’s Another Pokemon! It’s Munna!

Munna Details

Type: Psychic

Average Height: 2’00”

Average Weight: 51.3 lbs.

First Added In Generation V


I had a friend who never had dreams. He was serious and would get angry at people who suggested he was wrong. Munna wouldn’t really be able to do anything with my friend. That’s because Munna is a Pokemon who can eat people’s dreams and in doing so, it erases the dream from that person’s memory.

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A Pokemon that can eat people’s dreams is wild for a long list of reasons. I think the first thing that comes to my mind is how this creature even evolved into this form? I guess things work very differently in the Pokemon universe. But I just don’t see how useful it is for a wild animal to have this dream sucking ability. Then again, Munna is a giant pink ball that floats around. It was never going to be a top predator.

What’s really interesting about Munna is that it can actually suck up dreams AND nightmares. This could be extremely useful for people who suffer from frequent nightmares. Or it could be useful if you are one of those people who have bad nightmares after seeing a scary film. Just grab a Munna and stick it near your bed and tell it to watch for any signs of fear or alarm. If they see your body start to convulse or hear you scream out “Oh no! Pennywise please don’t stick your wet finger in my ear!!” the Munna can jump into action and suck the evil nightmare from your head.

After eating up some dreams, according to Bulbapedia, Munna expels a mist that contains the dream. You can tell what kind of dream Munna has eaten based on the color of the mist. Pink mist means a happy and sweet dream. It also means Munna just ate someone’s happy dream and robbed that person of a wonderful day hanging out with their dead grandfather or something. Seems cruel.

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Wait… Maybe my friend was being visited by a Munna every night and having his dreams erased?

Favorite Fan Art

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Munna is pictured here expelling some nice and wonderful dream. It was probably a kid dreaming about his cat and how awesome it is to have superpowers. Nice going, Munna.

Random Facts

  • According to a Pokedex entry, Munna is related to Drowzee. The nose gives it away, honestly.
  • As far as I can tell, there doesn’t seem to be any documented evidence of what color the mist looks like when a nightmare is eaten. I might be wrong. I like to think it’s pitch black mist.
  • I wonder if other dream types have different colors? Maybe a really erotic dream is red and a boring dream is grey? Also, I’m assuming some people in the Pokemon universe are selling vape rigs and flavors inspired by Munna’s mist. “Yeah, dude. Try our new flavor ‘Munna Tropical Mist.’”

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Best Comment From Last Week

Cotton balls have a million household uses, so good on you, Whimsicott.

Game Freak should continue this trend with a baking soda Pokémon, and a vinegar Pokémon. And they breed to make the most useful Pokémon ever.

-LotionChowder

A Pokemon that leaves batteries around, but like those really weird sizes that nobody has in their house usually. Like watch batteries or triple-A batteries. I want a whole new type of Pokemon called “Useful.”

Source: Kotaku.com

Whimsicott Will Sneak Into Your Home And Move Your Furniture

Every Pokemon is interesting and worth talking about. I don’t play a ton of Pokemon, but I do enjoy the universe and I love learning more about the creatures in it. So, Here’s Another Pokemon! It’s Whimsicott!

Whimsicott Details

Type: Grass/Fairy

Average Height: 2’04”

Average Weight: 14.6 lbs.

First Added In Generation V

Who is the Ashton Kutcher of Pokemon creatures? If I knew more about Kutcher I would probably have a better answer. But I only know two things about Ashton Kutcher, which is that he is an actor and that he hosted a show called Punk’d where he pranked celebrities. Whimsicott also pranks people and so it’s the Ashton Kutcher of Pokemon. Glad we figured that out.

Whimsicott is a small puff of hair and magic. According to Pokedex entries, this cute Pokemon can squeeze through cracks, no matter how narrow they might be. That allows the Whimsicott to enter people’s homes and move around their furniture, which is something it actually does. Why? It’s a prankster who loves to prank, that’s why. It will also leave behind cotton balls sometimes, which doesn’t seem like a great prank. I feel like I have cotton balls in my home, but I don’t remember buying them. They just exist. So maybe Whimsicott has already pranked me?

We should all be thankful that Whimsicott is using its incredible powers to only move couches and leave behind the fluff. Having the ability to squeeze through any crack, regardless of its size, sounds like a useful skill. It could rob banks, sneak into military bases or break into corporate headquarters. It could steal secrets, money, nukes or more. Instead, it just pops into homes and leaves cotton balls.

According to Bulbapedia, Whimsicott can also ride upon the winds. But nobody seems to really understand what that means. Maybe it just weighs very little and rides strong winds? Or maybe it can create powerful gusts of air? Seems the Pokemon scientists need to spend a bit more time studying fluffy little Whimsicott.

Favorite Fan Art

Fans are dangerous for this small little creature. Even a small fan like the one featured in this artwork could probably blow the fuzzy ball across a house.

Random Facts

  • In Japan, Whimsicott is called Elfuun which translates to Typhoon. That is a cooler name, but not sure how accurate it is…
  • Whimsicott is part of the Unova horoscope and represents the month of April.
  • If the wind is too strong it can blow off the cotton on Whimsicott’s head. Talk about a bad hair day! (Sorry. That was a bad joke. Please forgive me.)

Best Comment From Last Week

Also, the farting Pokémon? That’s Skuntank:

-MegaBlastoise

I didn’t expect this to sound so much like a far and then I listened to it and well, yeah…that’s a fart.

Source: Kotaku.com

Shedinja Is Just A Dead Corpse That Steals Souls

Every Pokemon is interesting and worth talking about. I don’t play a ton of Pokemon, but I do enjoy the universe and I love learning more about the creatures in it. So, Here’s Another Pokemon! It’s Shedinja! Thanks for the suggestion GlydeBane!

Shedinja Details

Type: Bug/Ghost

Average Height: 2’07”

Average Weight: 2.6 lbs.

First Added In Generation III

The Pokemon universe is filled with scary, weird, disturbing and confusing creatures. But somehow I keep learning of even weirder and creepier Pokemon. Like Shedinja, a creature that is literally just the husk of another Pokemon. That’s actually, for real, what Shedinja is. This isn’t even a living creature if we’re being technical here.

According to Pokedex entries found on Bulbapedia, Shedinja is created when a Nincada evolves into a Ninjask. During this process, the creature apparently molts from its old exoskeleton and leaves behind an empty husk. And for some reason, this dead pile of skin reanimates and becomes a creature. Why? I don’t know. Evil ghost magic, perhaps? Weirdly, nobody seems to be that concerned about this zombie beetle. Like, no one is freaking out or asking hard questions about life and death. They just capture and trade them, ignoring the fact that this is a literal corpse come to life.

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Shedninja has no organs, blood or anything like that. It also doesn’t move at all. It has wings, but they don’t flap. It has a head, but it doesn’t turn. It just moves around like a statue tied to a string.

If you think I’m exaggerating what Shedinja is, just read the Pokedex description. It states that Shedinja is “A discarded bug shell that came to life.” The Pokedex entries also warn that looking into the hollow body of the creature through any cracks in its back is a big mistake. If you do decide to peek at the non-existing innards of Shedinja, you will get your soul stolen. So not only it this thing a dead bug corpse that floats around, but it is an evil ghost too. Have fun with that thing, kids!

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Favorite Fan Art

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I would probably scream and run away forever if I ever saw one of these in real life.

Random Facts

  • Shedinja doesn’t seem to breathe. Which makes sense, considering it has no lungs. But also, what the Hell? It has no lungs. That doesn’t make sense.
  • Shedinja only has 1 HP, which leads to also sorts of weird and interesting trivia which Bulbapedia has listed here.
  • Shedinja is the only Pokemon that is both a bug-type and a ghost-type.

Best Comment From Last Week

“Exploud Screams So Loud It Causes Earthquakes”… not to brag, but I can too, just from my other end.”

-LookSee

There must be a farting Pokemon right? I assume so.

Source: Kotaku.com

Shedinja Is Just A Dead Corpse That Steals Souls

Every Pokemon is interesting and worth talking about. I don’t play a ton of Pokemon, but I do enjoy the universe and I love learning more about the creatures in it. So, Here’s Another Pokemon! It’s Shedinja! Thanks for the suggestion GlydeBane!

Shedinja Details

Type: Bug/Ghost

Average Height: 2’07”

Average Weight: 2.6 lbs.

First Added In Generation III

The Pokemon universe is filled with scary, weird, disturbing and confusing creatures. But somehow I keep learning of even weirder and creepier Pokemon. Like Shedinja, a creature that is literally just the husk of another Pokemon. That’s actually, for real, what Shedinja is. This isn’t even a living creature if we’re being technical here.

According to Pokedex entries found on Bulbapedia, Shedinja is created when a Nincada evolves into a Ninjask. During this process, the creature apparently molts from its old exoskeleton and leaves behind an empty husk. And for some reason, this dead pile of skin reanimates and becomes a creature. Why? I don’t know. Evil ghost magic, perhaps? Weirdly, nobody seems to be that concerned about this zombie beetle. Like, no one is freaking out or asking hard questions about life and death. They just capture and trade them, ignoring the fact that this is a literal corpse come to life.

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Shedninja has no organs, blood or anything like that. It also doesn’t move at all. It has wings, but they don’t flap. It has a head, but it doesn’t turn. It just moves around like a statue tied to a string.

If you think I’m exaggerating what Shedinja is, just read the Pokedex description. It states that Shedinja is “A discarded bug shell that came to life.” The Pokedex entries also warn that looking into the hollow body of the creature through any cracks in its back is a big mistake. If you do decide to peek at the non-existing innards of Shedinja, you will get your soul stolen. So not only it this thing a dead bug corpse that floats around, but it is an evil ghost too. Have fun with that thing, kids!

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Favorite Fan Art

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I would probably scream and run away forever if I ever saw one of these in real life.

Random Facts

  • Shedinja doesn’t seem to breathe. Which makes sense, considering it has no lungs. But also, what the Hell? It has no lungs. That doesn’t make sense.
  • Shedinja only has 1 HP, which leads to also sorts of weird and interesting trivia which Bulbapedia has listed here.
  • Shedinja is the only Pokemon that is both a bug-type and a ghost-type.

Best Comment From Last Week

“Exploud Screams So Loud It Causes Earthquakes”… not to brag, but I can too, just from my other end.”

-LookSee

There must be a farting Pokemon right? I assume so.

Source: Kotaku.com

Sudowoodo Is Loved By Millions Of Old People

Every Pokemon is interesting and worth talking about. I don’t play a ton of Pokemon, but I do enjoy the universe and I love learning more about the creatures in it. So, Here’s Another Pokemon! It’s Sudowoodo!

Sudowoodo Details

Type: Rock

Average Height: 3‘ 11″

Average Weight: 83.8 lbs.

First Added In Generation II

Sudowoodo is just a fun name to say. Some Pokemon names leave me confused or annoyed. They are hard to spell, feel weird to pronounce and aren’t fun to say. But Sudowoodo is easy to spell, feels wonderful to say and sounds funny. It is like a perfect name. Yet weirdly this Pokemon, which looks a LOT like a tree, is actually a rock-type Pokemon.

When I first saw Sudowoodo’s type on Bulbapedia I was confused. Was it a mistake? Was this the wrong image? Did my browser screw something up? But Googling around it became clear that no, this was, in fact, a Pokemon that looked like a tree but was a giant living rock. What a world! Now that I know this creature isn’t a tree Pokemon, but a rook type, the name makes a lot of sense! Sudowoodo…Pseudo Wood. Very clever.

According to Bulbapedia, Sudowoodo (Which is fun to type too.) disguises itself as a tree and hides amongst real trees. And this actually works, until wintertime. When the snow starts falling and trees start changing colors and losing leaves, Sudowoodo is exposed because its fake leave remains green all year. Maybe it should try hiding with some Evergreens?

According to Pokedex entries, Sudowoodo has a large fanbase of elderly folks. In fact, this fanbase is so large and active that they actually have an entire magazine devoted to the creature. They obsess mostly over its arms. Specifically the angle and length of them.

“Oh Jerry, look at the Sudowoodo. That is easily a 50incher on the right side of it and a 60incher on the left side. Wow!”

Favorite Fan Art

It should come as no surprise that a lot of people have drawn Sudowoodo as Groot, from Marvel. Some things are just too obvious and good to ignore.

Random Facts

  • Sudowoodo is very weak to water and as a result, is afraid of rain. Whenever it rains, Sudowoodo runs in fear and hides. Someone give Sudowoodo an umbrella.
  • Because it holds its arms up for long periods of time, pretending to be a tree, it has very strong limbs.
  • Some folks collect this Pokemon. They value the Sudowoodo who have larger green balls. Don’t we all.

Best Comment From Last Week

Those people who experimented with poop, are also the people who discovered that you can milk a cow.

-Gilbie

The world needs people who are willing to do dumb and gross things. These people help us discover new foods, medicines, and materials. Sadly, I can’t imagine these discoverers have a long life expectancy.

Source: Kotaku.com

Darumaka’s Shit Is So Hot That People Stick It In Their Clothes To Keep Warm

Every Pokemon is interesting and worth talking about. I don’t play a ton of Pokemon, but I do enjoy the universe and I love learning more about the creatures in it. So, Here’s Another Pokemon! It’s Darumaka!

Darumaka Details

Type: Fire

Average Height: 2‘ 00″

Average Weight: 82.7 lbs.

First Added In Generation V

There are things in this world that we all know to be true, have probably experienced at some point and which we try to not dwell on or talk about. I think one such fact is that poop is really warm. If you’ve ever picked up dog shit or changed a diaper, you know this. We all understand this. Yet, I try to not think about this and I would never try to use hot shit to warm myself. But that’s exactly what folks once did in the world of Pokemon.

As mentioned in Pokedex entries, back in the olden days, people would take “droppings” from Darumaka and stick this stuff into their clothes. The purpose was to keep them warm and Darumaka has some of the hottest poop in the world, it seems. How did they stick this shit in their pants and shirts? Did they fill up their pockets with the stuff or maybe put it in between layers of shirts and jackets? We don’t know. Just use your imagination.

I think the real question I want to ask is simple. Who figured this out? Who was the person that looked a Darumaka taking a shit and was like, “Yeah, I’m sticking that in my jacket.” How did other folks react to this? How long did it take before it caught on? So many questions, but no answers.

It makes sense that Darumaka droppings are so warm. The creature is a little ball of fire, basically. It has an internal flame and once this thing gets going it can’t stop until its flame dies down to a cooler temperature of 1,100 Fahrenheit. So yeah, it makes sense that this thing would have some hot shit.

Favorite Fan Art

This is a great painting of this week’s Pokemon, but I have to admit I’m disappointed with the lack of poop-filled fan art. I feel like the internet really dropped the ball on this one. Darumaka shooting out hot poop should exist and yet I couldn’t find it.

Random Facts

  • Once its internal fire chills it just tucks all its limbs into its body and fall asleep.
  • When it is all tucked up into a small lump, it rocks back and forth while it sleeps. It also can’t be tipped over, which Bulbapedia says is based on those famous toys that roll around but never fall over. Not sure what the evolutionary reasons are for this feature, but it also has firey poops, so it is filled with mystery.
  • According to Bulbapedia, Darumaka has the lowest Special Attack base stat of all other Fire-type Pokemon.

Best Comment From Last Week

As a kid I was always bummed it had the word “gross” in it so I convinced myself it was a mistranslation of “Metacross” because it’s a cross between Metangs and it has a big ole X on its head.

I’ve gotten over it in a way that I haven’t for Feraligatr. I’ll never forgive Feraligatr.

-JayHankEdLyon

I feel bad for kids who’s favorite Pokemon our saddled with dumb names.

“So Sally, what’s your favorite Pokemon!?”

“Yanmega…”

“Oh..well, that’s…nice..”

Source: Kotaku.com

Darumaka’s Shit Is So Hot That People Stick It In Their Clothes To Keep Warm

Every Pokemon is interesting and worth talking about. I don’t play a ton of Pokemon, but I do enjoy the universe and I love learning more about the creatures in it. So, Here’s Another Pokemon! It’s Darumaka!

Darumaka Details

Type: Fire

Average Height: 2‘ 00″

Average Weight: 82.7 lbs.

First Added In Generation V

There are things in this world that we all know to be true, have probably experienced at some point and which we try to not dwell on or talk about. I think one such fact is that poop is really warm. If you’ve ever picked up dog shit or changed a diaper, you know this. We all understand this. Yet, I try to not think about this and I would never try to use hot shit to warm myself. But that’s exactly what folks once did in the world of Pokemon.

As mentioned in Pokedex entries, back in the olden days, people would take “droppings” from Darumaka and stick this stuff into their clothes. The purpose was to keep them warm and Darumaka has some of the hottest poop in the world, it seems. How did they stick this shit in their pants and shirts? Did they fill up their pockets with the stuff or maybe put it in between layers of shirts and jackets? We don’t know. Just use your imagination.

I think the real question I want to ask is simple. Who figured this out? Who was the person that looked a Darumaka taking a shit and was like, “Yeah, I’m sticking that in my jacket.” How did other folks react to this? How long did it take before it caught on? So many questions, but no answers.

It makes sense that Darumaka droppings are so warm. The creature is a little ball of fire, basically. It has an internal flame and once this thing gets going it can’t stop until its flame dies down to a cooler temperature of 1,100 Fahrenheit. So yeah, it makes sense that this thing would have some hot shit.

Favorite Fan Art

This is a great painting of this week’s Pokemon, but I have to admit I’m disappointed with the lack of poop-filled fan art. I feel like the internet really dropped the ball on this one. Darumaka shooting out hot poop should exist and yet I couldn’t find it.

Random Facts

  • Once its internal fire chills it just tucks all its limbs into its body and fall asleep.
  • When it is all tucked up into a small lump, it rocks back and forth while it sleeps. It also can’t be tipped over, which Bulbapedia says is based on those famous toys that roll around but never fall over. Not sure what the evolutionary reasons are for this feature, but it also has firey poops, so it is filled with mystery.
  • According to Bulbapedia, Darumaka has the lowest Special Attack base stat of all other Fire-type Pokemon.

Best Comment From Last Week

As a kid I was always bummed it had the word “gross” in it so I convinced myself it was a mistranslation of “Metacross” because it’s a cross between Metangs and it has a big ole X on its head.

I’ve gotten over it in a way that I haven’t for Feraligatr. I’ll never forgive Feraligatr.

-JayHankEdLyon

I feel bad for kids who’s favorite Pokemon our saddled with dumb names.

“So Sally, what’s your favorite Pokemon!?”

“Yanmega…”

“Oh..well, that’s…nice..”

Source: Kotaku.com